to me

Week 4, September 11,2015

 

 

 

The Atonement in my life

The atonement has been the biggest part of my life these past 7 months. I was a lost kid and a sad kid. I didn't know where I was going in life and was angry at everything! But one morning Heavenly Father literally reached down from the heavens and showed me the path he needed me to take. I saw the lives that I would and will touch by cleaning myself up. I knew that it wasn't going to be easy because I was going to have to drop all the friends that I had. That was really hard on me and a lot of people really hated me for changing my lifestyle but I didn't care because I knew Christ and his gospel  were the most important things I could be a part of in my life. I changed my life around 100% and was a new man. I felt so ready to go on a mission and was excited. But through these past 4 weeks I have grown so much and I have seen that God NEEDS me to be better than what I am. I know that he has a special plan for me. That I will play a big part in his plan of eternal happiness for everyone, and saying that he needs me to be 100% worthy and be full of his spirit and power to do the work he needs me to do. He's shown me that I will be able to fulfill my purpose in my life as long as I will just hold steady to the rod and not give up on myself because he will never quit on me! He won't let me be that missionary that just goes through the motions and holds things on my back in my mission, He requires more out of me. And I'm okay with that because I want to be the best that I can be for him. So I will go and do the things required to become that man that he needs me to be. I know that times will get challenging and not everyone is going to believe me or like me for what I'm doing BUT that doesn't matter. All that matters is that I am doing what the Lord wants me to do. I know that he will help me in those times of need and times of sadness. Satan has no power over me as long as I stay close to my Father in Heaven. I know because of the sacrifices that Jesus Christ made in his life was so that us humans who sometimes are dumb and make childish mistakes can be forgiven and be exalted on high in the power of Christ's Atonement. I know and testify that this is 100% true and that I will go and finish this repentance processes and become that man that he needs me to be. I'm sad that it took me this long to figure it out but I'm thankful that I went and found out what I needed to do to become the person I want to be and the person my Father in heaven needs me to be.

 

 

Week 3 09/03/2015

This week has been a crazy one that's for sure. The MTC has gotten
really old at this point and I'm definitely excited to get to Nihon
already. This week we had to say goodbye to our Senpai and wow that
was so sad but really cool for them at the same time. I'm going to miss
seeing Clark and Stout Choro everyday. They helped me out so much over
the fist week I was here. I was lucky to get close to them and truly
make some amazing friendships. Elder Dance and I were talking and we
decided that it's completely crazy how close your friendships get with
your comp and your district in a matter of 3 weeks. I feel like I have
known these guys forever and they truly are some of my best friends.
Hayden still owns my heart though lol, I got a letter from him, He's
kiling it out there in PR. I'm so excited to hear all of his stories
and share some of my amazing stories. Elder Fonoimoana got us all
lava lavas and that's what the picture I sent you is all about. He's the
one in the middle with me. I don't get called Elder Packer... everyone
calls me Elder Roids or Elder Pecks. It's kind of funny. I got to go the
to the outside world the other day. We have an Elder who has been
really sick for the past couple weeks and just isn't getting better, So
the other morning I told his comp that I would stay with him so he
could go to class cause he hasnt been able to because of his sick
comp. And Elder Hogan had to go to the pharmacy to get meds so we got
to walk and go get that! it was sooo nice. I'm already losing weight...
I feel like my muscles are slowly disappearing... It's really sad...
its okay though, the Lord doesn't need swole missionaries.  but if he
did that would be sick, the MTC should have like a supplement bar :) I
hope all is well back in the 801, I'm not a fan of Provo. every time we
are walking back from the Temple or the field we see Cougar stadium
and I just want to throw up the U!!!!!   Our zone is pretty much empty now
because the Senpai left... but at least we are Senpai now, We`ll get
new Kohai in 2 weeks I think. We got to host this week!!!! I got to
host Bryce Young so that was really nice to see his family , he's my
buddy that is going Fukuoka, It'll be nice to have him rooming by me
and in the same building for class. I don't want to say that my Nihongo
is coming along great because I'm sure that tomorrow or sometime I will
be super frustrated again, but we did our weekly trc which is where we
get to basically do a family home evening in Japanese with local
members . Elder Halverson and I decided that we were just going to go
in there with a english topic and not use any dictionaries or any
resources  in Nihongo so that we were forced to have a conversation
and a good message from the top of our brains without writing  down
the sentences in Japanese.  And wow the Spirit was so strong and the
gift of tongues is so real. It felt amazing, I truly could see the
progress  that I had made in the Nihongo  and I loved it, I actually
saw a speck of hope saying Cj you'll learn this language I promise.
It was really nice and my comp and I walked out of there feeling like
a million bucks!!! So yes the gift of tongues is very very real. The
MTC is like a huge dish of sickness, I feel like I am constantly
fighting off something, I'm sick  but not to bad. I love all of you
guys and thank you so much for all of the amazing support you guys
give me! Kazoku wa jinsei desu.  Thanks for the written
letters, I love getting them, it's like a little Christmas present.
Tell Owen and his family thanks also. The spirit has been such a blessing
lately. It's helped me through so many hard times lately. I noticed
something the other day that made me really open my perspective, I
literally hold the happiness and peace of families and individuals in
my words and in my hands. The thing I cherish more than anything on
this earth is my family, and I can give and show that same love to
family's and individuals all over Sendai. I love you guys more than I
can even start to express, this truly has been the hardest thing I've
ever done in my life, but I know with my whole heart that it's worth
it and that I'll fall in love with serving the people of Japan. I just
have to push through and work hard in the pre season (mtc) and then I
get to go bless lives and have my own life blessed. It's crazy how
much patience and faith I've gained over the past weeks. I love the
man that Heavenly Father is molding me into, he's truly saved my life
and brought me back to the right path. I'm so beyond thankful for
that. I just want to bear my testimony that I know without a doubt in
my mind that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is true
and that if we just hold tight to the rod and take one step after
another that Heavenly Father will hold us up and guide us. I love you
guys so much!!!!

As I lay here in bed missing home like crazy I really started thinking hard about a lot of things. The first thing I thought about is how thankful I am for my family and how blessed I truly am to have the amazing parents that I do. They have given me everything I could have asked for and more. We would always joke that they couldn't say no to any one of us 4 but looking at it now, its not that they couldn't say no, its that they didn't  want to, they always wanted us to be happy. Mom, Dad, I want to say thanks for being the most selfless people I know. I've really tried to turn outward more here in the MTC even though at times it seems as if turning inward is the only thing I can do because Satan is working SO hard on me. He puts so much doubt and fear and uncertainty in my head. He makes me feel as though I should be home and that I will only be happy when I am home. But he's WRONG and I know he is. I look around and see kids that don't really miss their families much and at first I thought wow I wish I was like that, but after a few weeks here at the MTC I came to a conclusion, I would much rather be missing my family than not because that means 1 thing, that we are close as a family and that I love you guys more than anything else on this earth. And to think that I  hold that eternal love and happiness in my hands and in my words for some other family brings me great joy. because I want every one to have what I am so blessed to have and that's a loving family that will  be together for life and all eternity. This thought brings me a ton of peace and joy, all though it doesn't take away me missing my family it helps knowing that I am going to be able to help some one else find that love and peace with their family and with their loving Heavenly Father. I ask myself this question a lot "Why does something this amazing have to be this hard on me?" I didn't understand for a long time. but I've started to get it. Nothing that's worth it is easy. that answers that question entirely. I want to thank you guys for being such a HUGE influence on the man I am. I'm not nearly the man I want to be but I'm on the right path and its all because of Heavenly Father and my family. I love you guys more than words can even describe and I thank you guys from the bottom of my heart for being members of this amazing church. 

-Baki aka Elder Packer